


The Balance

by JabbaTheSmut



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Emotions, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fate & Destiny, Force Bond (Star Wars), Love/Hate, My First Smut, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-02 09:17:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14541543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JabbaTheSmut/pseuds/JabbaTheSmut
Summary: General Leia Organa has passed, and Supreme Leader Kylo Ren is in an emotionally vulnerable state. When their Force bond brings Rey and Kylo Ren together, Kylo asks Rey to look into his soul to see if there is any Light left in him. Neither is prepared for the vision that follows and the feelings it stirs in each of them...





	1. The Light

Chapter 1 - The Light

Rey freezes and inhales sharply, as the abrupt shift in air pressure in her chambers signals the sudden arrival of another person. He is here, or she is there… either way, Kylo Ren’s presence is palpable. 

Rey had known this moment would come. She had been dreading it. Ever since she felt a sudden and profound absence in the Force, she had sensed that General Organa was gone, and she was certain Kylo Ren had felt her passing as well. Rey still didn’t fully understand the nature of the bond that connected the two them through the Force, but she knew it was only a matter of time before that bond would bring them together once again. 

Steeling herself, Rey turns to confront her enemy. He stands across the room with his back to her, wearing a black hooded cloak, but not his usual leather gloves, staring off into the void around him. She can’t see his surroundings, as is the nature of their bond, but it’s obvious that he is alone. 

Rey grits her teeth, angry at herself for the waves of empathy rippling through her. Why is it so impossible to control her emotions around him? She is a Jedi now, mostly self-trained, true, and yet she should have learned by now to maintain a state of perfect tranquility. 

She reminds herself that at any time she could sever this connection, and she would be alone again in her chambers, and yet instinct tells her that the Force has brought them together now for a reason and she must see it through.

Collecting herself, she takes a deep breath and slowly approaches him, her almost-silent footsteps mere echoes of the real world, muted by the tension between them. Kylo Ren does not speak or move, but she is certain he is aware of her proximity. 

Compassion gets the better of her, as always, and Rey hesitantly reaches out to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Though they are light years apart, he is as solid and real as anything she has ever felt. He offers her no acknowledgment or reaction, and an awkward stillness stretches out for several long minutes. 

Finally, Ren murmurs, “My mother…” he doesn’t finish the sentence. Rey nods, and he doesn’t need to see her to sense her confirmation. His tone is dismissive, but forced, “She gave up on me a long time ago. They all did.” He turns his head slightly to glance down at her hand on his shoulder, and his voice softens, "But not you….” 

He turns to face her, and her hand trails down his arm as she lets it fall. His stoic expression seems indifferent to his loss, but red-rimmed eyes give him away. Leia’s death had crushed Rey, and she couldn’t imagine what Kylo was feeling right now. He may call himself the “Supreme Leader” of the galaxy, but in this moment, all Rey can see is a young man who just lost his mother, the very last of his family. He is hanging onto composure by a thread.

“Why?” he asks with a quiet derisiveness, his eyes searching hers. “What made you think you could save me, even after everybody else gave up?” 

She shakes her head, shedding unwelcome tears. “I.. sensed there was still Light left in you.”

His gaze narrows and intensifies, “Do you still sense it?”

She studies his face... Had his eyes become darker? Redder? His scar, instead of fully healing, seems to have deepened. Rey is sure it’s not just her imagination, but his prolonged use of the Dark Side taking a physical toll on him. Her voice comes out a choked whisper, “I don’t know.”

“Tell me,” he commands, pulling back the hood of his cloak. “You know how to look.” 

Rey’s eyebrows knit together. On one hand, she doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of her obedience, but on the other hand, she is desperately curious to know if there is any Light left in this man. Rey takes a deep breath to calm her thoughts, then reaches her hand to his face. She is skilled enough now to read a person’s mind without physical contact, but to search one’s soul, you must go deeper. Her fingers stretch along his forehead and temple and her thumb rests just under his left eye. 

Her focus intensifies, and for the briefest moment she sees the fear behind his eyes, the vulnerability he tries so hard to deny. She inhales and closes her eyes.

…..

Kylo Ren wakes up to a dream. The world seems foggy and distant at first, as if he were a bystander in his own body, but within moments the vision solidifies until it is indistinguishable from reality. 

Plumes of smoke and ash rise up into the red sky of Mustafar, and the battle below rages on. This is where it all began, and suddenly, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren is struck with the premonition that this is where it will end. 

This is the planet where, all those years ago, the man who was once Anakin Skywalker first stepped into his new role, becoming the legendary Darth Vader. Grandfather. The Dark Side of the Force is strong here – there is no place for the Light in this hellish world. Here, the First Order has every advantage, and the Resistance fighters who attempted a strike on their base are now being slaughtered. 

The Light fighters make one last stand. Behind them is a sharp precipice, where a river of liquid fire gurgles below the cliffs, and they have nowhere to fall back. 

There, he sees her. Rey and her company of Prentice Jedi are facing the Knights of Ren, and though they may have been evenly matched in any other part of the galaxy, here on Mustafar the Knights are able to draw power from the Dark Side energy boiling under the planet’s surface. Those on the side of the Light are barely able to sense the Force here, much less wield it with their usual strength.

Kylo Ren observes the battle from a distance, watching as one by one, his Knights pick off the young Padawans. This is not a fair fight. This is a massacre. 

The last Jedi-in-training falls in a spray of crimson, and his blood begins to seep into the volcanic rock of the planet’s surface. Only Rey is left to stand against thirteen fully trained Dark Side Force users. 

With victory so close at hand, Kylo Ren should be basking in the satisfaction at his certain win, but his gratification is stifled by a strange dread. A faint memory tugs at his thoughts… He has a bad feeling about this. 

The Knights are closing in on Rey, and she takes a wide stance, saber-staff ready. Kylo absently admires the weapon that the girl has forged – she has reattached Skywalker’s broken lightsaber to opposite ends of her quarterstaff to craft an entirely new weapon, perfectly suited to her skills. It is clear that she will not go down without a worthy fight.

Within a split second, Rey takes out two of the Knights with a single low swoop of her staff, cutting their legs out from under them. Three more of Kylo’s trainee’s immediately take their place. With stunning grace, she raises her saber-staff to fend off the onslaught, slicing one Knight across the midsection while simultaneously severing an arm from an attacker behind her. She moves like a dancer, exquisite in her deadliness. 

Again, a whisper of a memory skims his thoughts, and again Kylo pushes it back, along with any and all emotions. Not now, not when he is so close to wiping out the Resistance and the new Jedi Order all in one. He recalls Snoke’s training and uses it to focus his mind on the task at hand. He moves toward the ring of Knights circled around the determined young Jedi.

Rey brings down another Knight, but she is bleeding from multiple wounds as two more of her opponents close in. She fights with reckless desperation – in a chokehold, hopelessly outnumbered. As long as she holds to the Light, it will only be a matter of time until she is defeated. 

She is barely hanging on when her concentration is abruptly hijacked, as she first notices Kylo Ren. Her eyes meet his, and in that single moment of distraction, one of the Knights thrusts his saber. The crackling red lightsaber enters under her left shoulder blade and exits just above her heart. With eyes still fixed on Kylo’s, Rey falls to her knees in pain and shock. The Knight pulls his saber from her body and raises it for a killing blow.

Something snaps in Kylo, and the whisper in his brain becomes a scream. Before he knows or understands what he is doing, his body is brimming with the Force, his already incredible power amplified tenfold by the energy of this dark place. He raises his hands toward his own men and crackling blue lightning races from his fingers ….

……..

 

Rey painfully props herself up on her right elbow, and her vision momentarily whites out. As she regains focus, she wonders momentarily if this is a dream, then slowly realizes that she has lost too much blood. She needs to be treated immediately or she will die.

Somehow, Rey manages to sit up, holding a hand to the wound in her chest. The smell of wet blood and burning flesh hangs heavy in the hot atmosphere. Four dead bodies and nine piles of ash surround her. 

Instantly, she finds what she’s looking for. A black cloak over a crumpled form on the ground, not far. Suddenly, Rey is on her feet, moving toward Kylo Ren, her own mortal wound a distant awareness. He drew too much of the Force, she instinctively knows. He is dying. She kneels beside him and gently brushes his hair out of his face, her fingers lingering on his cheek.

She is startled at how much older he appears – deep creases line his forehead, but an even more disturbing change is the color of his eyes. Where only days ago there was soft brown, there is now cruel red with flecks of yellow. This effect was described in the ancient Jedi texts: once a Dark Side user crosses over so completely as to manifest the Force into fire and lightning, the Sith eyes set in. 

Rey gasps, and Kylo Ren blinks sluggishly as if seeing her for the very first time. He is holding on, but he only has moments left, and help could not come soon enough. She takes his gloved hand in hers.

With the last of his strength, he pulls her hand up to his heart and covers it with his other hand. He closes his eyes for a long moment, then opens them ever so slowly. His lips part and his voice is barely a whisper, “I love you.”

Rey leans down and presses her lips to his, then speaks softly “I know.”

Kylo closes his eyes with the slightest twist of a smile, and when he opens them again, the red and yellow flecks are gone and they have returned to a deep brown. He appears younger, and though Rey couldn’t have described any other physical differences, he is suddenly a completely different person. He is Ben Solo.

His eyes close again. She has to tell him before it’s too late. Rey leans in and whispers in his ear.… He squeezes her hand in response, exhales, and then is gone.

…..

Rey is shaking, and it takes her several moments to realize that she is hearing the sound of her own sobs. The vision of their future had felt so devastatingly real, but even as she opens her eyes, the memory is already beginning to fade. As she comes back into her body, she becomes aware that her forehead is touching Kylo Ren’s. Her fingers that had been reading his thoughts are now tangled up in his dark hair, and her other hand is curled around his cheek and jaw. He is hunched down to her height, his hands mirroring hers to cradle her face. A tear that is not her own trickles down her cheek, and it occurs to Rey that he must have experienced the exact same vision she just had, although from his own perspective. 

His closeness is overwhelming. The warmth of his fingers gently brushing across her cheek and the whisper of his breath against her lips are strangely exhilarating. She feels pulled to him by something greater than the two of them. Combing her fingers through his hair, she tilts her face up to his. Her lips skim softly over his face, lightly brushing against his cheek, over his scar, his chin, his lips. Just a trace of a touch. His lips hover over hers for another breathless moment, and then they meet in a kiss. 

She never would have imagined that he would kiss so softly. Her body melts against his as he deepens the kiss, his hand wrapping around her waist to pull her closer. Lips parting, she opens her mouth to taste his and a sudden flood of warmth fills her entire body with a fervent need. She knots her fingers in his hair to pull him even closer and he moans softly into her mouth. The sound stirs something deep inside her, and startled by the intensity of her feelings, she breaks the kiss. 

Reality comes rushing back in an instant. Horrified, Rey violently tears herself from his arms and turns to run. She only makes it a few paces, though, before she turns around again to face him. Kylo Ren stands helplessly, with a look on his face she has never seen before, eyes filled with anguish and hope and longing all at once. Her heart pounds maddeningly with her own mess of emotions. 

She hates this man. He is a murderer, a monster. His actions have led to the deaths of thousands of innocents, some of whom were people she loved. There is still Light in him, she knows that now for certain, but it doesn’t change the unforgivable things he has done. No, his heart is so full of darkness and evil that he could never possibly be turned. And yet, the fading memory of the vision they had just shared seemed to suggest otherwise… She has seen the future, heard his dying words. There is still hope for his conflicted soul, and only she can save him.

Her feet move of their own volition, and within a few quick strides, she is back in his arms. He pulls her mouth to his in a desperate kiss, his hands running feverishly over her arms, her back, her waist. He shrugs off his cloak as she glides her hands over his strong shoulders and down his powerful chest. 

His mouth is hot and wet and everywhere; her lips, cheeks, jawline, down her throat and across her collarbone. Soft sounds escape her lips and she can feel his response to each little moan. Throwing back her head, she arches into him and he deftly pushes her arm wrappings down over her hands and they unravel to the floor as he kisses her bare shoulders. 

Breathing heavily, he reaches a hand into the side of her draping cloth touching the skin of her waist and caressing up her back. His fingers on her bare skin ignite something deep inside and she keens, pressing her body into his. She is met with something unmistakable – he is hard... and big. 

Rey’s last rational thought is the realization that she is beyond the brink now, and there is no way she could stop herself or him, even if she wanted to.

……..

Kylo Ren had lost all rational thoughts from the moment their lips had touched. He couldn’t recall a single detail about the vision they had just shared, but he didn’t care. He had wanted Rey since the day he met her, and now here she was in his arms, impossibly, by the grace of the Force. 

Rey tugs insistently at the bottom of his tunic and he lifts his arms so she can rip it over his head. She skates her palms down his chest, and his breath catches when her hand touches the bowcaster scar on his side, but she lifts her eyes to his and all he can see is tenderness and a scorching desire. He kisses her roughly, plunging his tongue into her mouth. 

Without breaking their kiss, she winds her arms around his neck and lightly jumps, wrapping her legs around his waist and grinding against him. Their mouths are open wide in a ravenous kiss and she rolls her hips in small undulations against his prominent erection. 

Kylo can feel her heat even through layers of clothing and nearly loses himself right then and there. He slides a hand under the back of her breast band, then around the side to feel the curve of her breast. She gasps in pleasure as his thumb grazes over her tightened nipple, and rubs herself against him with a new urgency. 

It’s all he needs for encouragement. She weighs next to nothing in his arms, and he gently kneels to the floor, her legs still wrapped around him. Sitting back with his legs folded beneath him, he fumbles briefly with the clasp on her belt. It opens, and her drapings fall to the floor, leaving only her breast band. His eyes drink her in, his hands exploring her toned waist and sculpted shoulders, her smooth pale skin no longer shows a single hint of Jakku sun. 

Without further hesitation, he slips both hands under her breast band and lifts it over her head and her breasts bounce free. They are small and round and perfect, her nipples pale pink and incredibly responsive to his touch. He fondles one breast while bringing the other to his mouth. She cries out as he flicks her nipple with his tongue. She is a Goddess, beyond beautiful, beyond perfect, and she is his to worship. 

He needs to feel her skin next to his skin and pulls her into a close embrace, her bare breasts warm against his chest. He holds her so tightly, and though the feeling is pure ecstasy, it doesn’t even begin to quell his aching need to be one with her. Again their mouths meet, and she pushes against him until his back is on the floor with her on top of him, her legs straddling his waist. 

Then suddenly, without warning, she is gone. 

Kylo Ren lies on the floor of his chambers, stunned. After a long moment, he sits up and looks around the room. He is indeed alone, half-naked, with his shirt and cloak on the floor nearby. 

He looks down at the bulge in his pants, breathes a long sigh, then says softly to himself, “Fuck.”


	2. The Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Rey's recent Force-bond encounter with Kylo Ren, she vows that she must never allow such weakness and depravity to happen again. However, only a week passes before her resolve is tested. While on a mission to find a new Kyber crystal, Rey has another unexpected run-in with Kylo Ren, this time in the flesh. What happens next isn't entirely consensual...

Back in her own chambers, Rey finds herself on her hands and knees, topless, breathless, and alone, thank the Light. Kneeling back, she looks over her shoulder to see her clothing scattered across the room. Frantically, she gathers up her clothes and puts them on. 

Once safely dressed, she sits down on the edge of her bed, trying to piece together what just happened. Hours pass and her confusion only deepens. How could she ever allow herself to do such deplorable things? She knows that she wasn’t the one who abruptly ended their connection, and she feels quite confident that Kylo Ren wasn’t either. The Force had brought them together, and the Force pulled them apart.

She clearly remembers her bond with Kylo Ren bringing them together, recalls him asking her to search his soul to see if there was still any Light left in him, and remembers with appalling clarity what ensued after they had experienced some kind of shared vision. However, the vision itself, like a dream within a dream, is almost completely wiped from her memory. She can only recall feelings… terror, determination, hopelessness, and then… passion, love? Rey shudders, unable to comprehend her own actions.

She tries to access the memory through meditation, but her thoughts keep drifting away, as she finds herself thinking once again about gliding her hands down his chest and under the waistline of his pants….

Furious with herself for her own disgusting weakness, she begins to pace around the room. She vows that the next time their Force bond bridges their minds, she will sever the connection immediately. This must never happen again. 

………..

A week later, Rey steps out of the shuttle onto the surface of the planet Ishtar, known for its resplendent and surreal crystalline forests. The forest, although breathtaking, is not what she was expecting. The “trees” are actually spires of green crystal points thrusting up from the ground skyward, some as high as skyscrapers. The ground is sheer crystal, translucent as glass, as though she were standing on the clearest ice of a frozen lake. 

Rey had finished the last of the Jedi texts she had stolen from the temple on Ahch-To, and now it was time for her to complete her self-training. To do so, she must craft her own weapon from a Kyber crystal. She had managed to repair Luke Skywalker’s broken old lightsaber, but in order to create the ideal weapon for herself, she was going to need one more crystal. Which is what brought her here to Ishtar.

Kyber crystals are abundant here, and locating them requires intense focus, for one must reach out with the Force and listen for a vibrational response from the crystal. It takes several hours, but she eventually hones in on a pulsating energy, shining like a beacon in her mind. After that, it only takes Rey a few minutes of scouring the crystal clusters to find what she is seeking. A small, clear crystal seems to beckon to her, its energy pulsating between them. She opens herself to the Force and feels the gemstone resonating in response. With the utmost care, she removes the small point of the crystal and deposits it in her utility belt. 

She stands and is about to turn back to her shuttle when she hears a familiar voice.

“Still a scavenger.”

Rey panics. He is here in the flesh this time, and she doesn’t have the option of escaping by simply severing their connection. Too ashamed to look him in the eye, she keeps her back to him and says nothing. 

“You failed to repair my uncle’s lightsaber, so you came here for a new crystal,” he says smugly. 

It’s too much for Rey’s pride. In one swift motion, she reaches for Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber and ignites it. She slowly turns around to face Kylo Ren, challenge burning in her eyes.

His lips curl into an amused smile, “So, you succeeded after all... Impressive. It still belongs to me.”

Rey lifts an eyebrow, and before she knows what she is saying, the words have already left her mouth. “Well then, come and get it.”

Kylo Ren, still wearing that twisted smirk that reminds Rey of Han Solo, ignites his red lightsaber, and a crackling sound fills the air between them. He moves toward Rey so quickly and suddenly that she barely has time to react. If his smile suggests that he isn’t serious, his unbridled offensive implies otherwise.

Rey barely blocks his full-armed swing and tries to counter with a powerful kick to his torso, but he anticipates her move and steps clear. He has learned quickly and adapted to her fighting style, and she realizes that she will not be able to catch him off guard as she has done in the past. 

She embraces the Force and allows it to fill her, greatly supplementing her strength and focus, and she feels Kylo do the same. With new resolve, she swings her lightsaber to meet his, the clashing energies send a shockwave down her spine. 

Rey is forced backward, and within a few moves, she realizes that while she and Kylo are evenly matched in their strength with the Force, his physical strength far overpowers her own. In the snowy forest on Starkiller Base, he had been severely wounded, and she had the advantage, but now that he is fully healed she will not defeat him so easily. 

It happens so quickly, Rey almost doesn’t see it coming. Kylo nearly takes her head off with an unrestrained swing, but thanks to her quick reflexes he only slices her cheek just below her eye. Blood trickles into the corner of her mouth, and Rey takes another step back, coming up against a large crystal spire. She is trapped.

She thrusts her lightsaber toward him, but even as she does so, she knows in her heart that she is missing him on purpose. He blocks her swing, pins her arm over her head, and slams her back up against the side of the towering crystal. Long gashes are etched into the crystal where their weapons meet the glassy stone.

A gloved hand reaches for her throat, and before she even knows what is happening, his mouth is on hers, hot and aggressive. Without thinking, she kisses him back with even greater ferocity, her free hand grips a fistful of his shirt. A sound rips from her throat as he breaks the kiss, an animalistic snarl, full of fury and desire. 

He releases his grasp on her throat and grabs the collar of her tunic. With one firm yank, he tears open the front of her tunic and pulls her breast band down to her waist. He raises his hand to his mouth, bites down on the fingertips of his glove and pulls it off with his teeth. Roughly palming her breasts, he covers her mouth with his, muffling her feral groans. 

After a few moments, they both have to catch their breath. Kylo breaks the kiss and their eyes lock. Time stands still as Rey returns his gaze, inspecting his eyes and scanning his face for any clue as to what his thoughts might be, but his expression is completely unreadable. Then he leans in very close in and slowly, with a savage tenderness, licks the blood dripping from the gash on her cheek. 

Something inside Rey surrenders. No longer snarling, she lifts her eyes to the heavens and then closes them, like a victim of a sacrifice. She releases her grip on her lightsaber and it powers off as it clatters to the ground. 

Still running his tongue along the length of her throat, Kylo unclasps her utility belt, slips a hand under her waistband and into her underwear, and curls his fingers inside her. She gasps and makes a sound like a small scream, and even Rey is not sure if it’s in pleasure or in protest. The way he moves his fingers in small circles - stroking, penetrating - is positively dizzying. Part of Rey’s consciousness is aware that she is gyrating against his fingers, but oh, she is so so close. 

Too soon, he withdraws his hand, and her body begs for more. He thrusts several fingers into her mouth and Rey sucks on them, tasting herself, and then bites down hard enough to hurt. Breath ragged and eyes wild, Kylo reaches behind him and unclasps his wide leather belt. When he starts to unbutton his pants, Rey finally realizes what is about to happen. 

No! Not like this, she thinks, her mind fighting against every primitive instinct in her body. She starts to thrash wildly like a caged animal, but she is no match for his physical strength and they are both already filled to the brim with the Force. 

Rey retreats into her mind, frantically searching for some advantage. She becomes aware of an itch in the shadows of her consciousness, a Dark place where she must never ever go. It has always been there, calling out to her, but she has never truly had need of it. In a moment of sheer desperation, she summons all her fear, all her anger, all her hatred, and seizes control of the darkness in her mind.

Instantly, she is filled with a power she has never known. It is intoxicating beyond her wildest imaginings, and at the same time, utterly torturous. Pain and terror competing with absolute euphoria and godlike strength. With this much power, the entire galaxy would bow to her.

Kylo Ren stares at her in shock and wonder. As easily as one would push a child, Rey shoves him away from her and he stumbles backward to the ground, lightsaber slipping from his hand. Before he even has time to react, Rey is on top of him, straddling his waist. She summons her own lightsaber, and holds it unlit against his chest, pointing directly at his heart. One tiny flick of her thumb and he will be dead.

She watches as he falls apart. His faces contorts in shame and misery, “Do it,” he sobs brokenly, “Please.”

She bares her teeth as she raises the weapon overhead.

Her thumb hovers over the button...

…….

Kylo Ren wakes on the glassy floor of the crystalline forest. His head throbs, and he tastes blood on his lips. Rey’s blood, he slowly realizes as his vision begins to clear. The last thing he remembers is her raised arm coming down on the side of his head. 

Gingerly, he touches his temple and finds blood on his fingertips. He could sit up now, but he doesn’t. He is broken inside.

For months, all he had been able to think about was turning Rey to the Dark Side. He had planted all the seeds; fear, anger, hatred, humiliation. It was what he had wanted more than anything else in the world, and the moment he saw it happening, he regretted everything. He had watched as beautiful, perfect, radiant Rey became everything that he despised about himself.

Kylo Ren knows there is no hope for his soul. He turned down this path long ago, and it was far too late to turn back. But Rey... She would make a glorious Queen of Darkness…. if she didn’t kill him first... Yet Kylo knows in what is left of his corrupted heart that he cannot allow that to happen.

Painfully, Kylo Ren rises to his feet, summons his lightsaber from the ground, and trudges toward his ship. Ruined, remade, and determined.

…….

Back on the Millenium Falcon, Rey is hard at work on her new weapon. Only a few days from now, the Resistance is planning to strike the First Order base on Mustafar, and her saberstaff must be ready by then. Setting the Kyber crystal into her staff requires absolute precision, and she’s becoming frustrated with the thoughts that continue to disturb her concentration. 

Her confrontation with Kylo Ren on Ishtar has left her haunted to her very core. She had very nearly killed him, and it was only by the grace of her Jedi training that she was able to push back against the darkness enough to let him live. After knocking him out with a blow to the head, she had held on to the Dark Side of the Force until she was safely on her shuttle. Then she collapsed and wept as waves of trauma washed over her. The cold, the terror... The rapture.

She finally understood, firsthand, the power of the Dark Side, along with the torment, the temptation, and the addiction that came with it. She understood how young Ben Solo had fallen onto his dark path, and why he would never be able to turn back. 

Rey knew that with the power of the Dark Side, she could defeat Kylo Ren, demolish the entire First Order, and reign supreme over the entire galaxy. But the cost... After embracing the Dark Side for only a few minutes, Rey could already sense a stain on her soul that would never go away. 

Hands shaky and eyes bleary with sleeplessness, Rey sets her project aside. It’s useless to try to focus when she’s in this state. She must find some way to allow serenity back into her heart. 

She lies down on her cot. Sleep. Sleep is what she needs right now. As she tries to get comfortable, her mind begins to shut off as her body turns on. A familiar longing starts to take over, and unable resist the cravings of her body, Rey slips a hand into her leggings and feels the wetness between her thighs. She recalls how it felt to have Kylo’s fingers inside her and the thrills that shot down to her toes as his thumb swirled around her clit. Pushing back the shame, she gives into her fantasy, rubbing circles around her swollen clit and using her other hand to reach deep inside. Hips thrusting rhythmically, she moans with abandon as she comes closer and closer. 

Although Rey is completely inexperienced, aside from her two recent encounters with Kylo, years of living in solitude have taught her how to satisfy her own needs. Increasing her speed and pressure, Rey’s breath becomes shallow and then she gasps and cries out as her orgasm rips through her. When the aftershocks finally subside and her breathing returns to normal, she rolls over to her side. 

Restless thoughts still plague her mind. The attack on Mustafar will be incredibly risky, and Rey desperately needs to sleep, but she is beginning to realize that there is only one thing that can bring her the comfort she needs.


	3. The Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey decides to pay Kylo a visit... there isn't a lot of plot development in this chapter... ;)

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren feels Rey’s presence the moment the Falcon comes out of hyperspace in proximity of his ship. He had anticipated that she would come for him, but had not predicted that it would be so soon. Either she still believes she can turn him, despite everything, or she has embraced the Dark Side of the Force and is coming to either join him or destroy him. 

Kylo sends the Knights of Ren to the docking bay and instructs them to escort her to his throne room. She is not to be put in restraints. If Rey has indeed succumbed to the Dark Side of the Force and come to destroy him, then his thirteen Knights will not last long against her. 

Relief rushes through him when the Knights arrive back in the throne room with Rey. 

At the sight of her, his heart pounds wildly in his chest, and he nearly puts a hand over it to try to stop it from beating so hard. Her hair hangs loose just past her shoulders and she is wearing a white dress, belted at the waist, with lace-up boots. Kylo realizes he is staring – he has never seen Rey in a dress before – and awkwardly averts his eyes. He reaches out with his feelings and is stunned to realize that his emotions are partially an empathic echo of hers. Whatever she came for, she is terrified, needy, hopeful and eager all at the same time. 

“Have you come to kill me?” he keeps his tone carefully neutral, his deep voice reverberating through the throne room. 

Rey shakes her head. “No,” she says simply, and Kylo can sense that she is telling the truth. 

As confirmation, his First Knight steps forward, “She came to us unarmed.”

“Leave us,” Kylo commands his men, and they quickly file out of the chamber.

He takes a tentative step toward her, “Have you come to join me?” He tries not to sound too hopeful.

“No,” she replies, a slight quiver in her voice.

He takes another step forward, and his voice softens, “Have you come to turn me?”

Tears suddenly well up in her eyes and spill down her freckled cheeks as she blinks, “No,” she breathes.

He stares at her in confusion, completely baffled as to why she came here. 

Then in a gesture of pure instinct, he reaches out and with a gloved hand, gently wipes her tears from her face. He removes his gloves, letting them fall to the floor, and extends his other hand toward her, palm open. After a slight hesitation, she places her hand in his. Her hands are warm, soft and callused at the same time, and he runs his thumb over her knuckles as her fingertips softly brush against his palm.

The moment overwhelms him, and he impulsively wraps his arms around her, one hand stroking her hair while the other curls around her shoulders, and pulls her in as close as he can. “Rey...” his voice is thick with emotion. He wants to apologize, for everything, but there are no words.

Her breath is soft against his neck and throat as she returns his embrace, and her hair smells faintly of fresh herbs and flowers. They stay locked together for several long minutes, and just as Kylo thinks that he could hold her like this forever, she moves. Her hand reaches up to clasp his chin and jawline, and she pulls his face toward hers. Their lips come together and he finally realizes why Rey came to him.

……..

Enfolded in Kylo’s arms, Rey’s fears finally begin to subside. Their mouths meet, she gives in completely to all the feelings she had been fighting since the day she met Kylo Ren. After a long, single kiss, he pulls away just enough to stare disbelievingly in her eyes. She meets his gaze, and as if in confirmation, she kisses him again, with all of the desire coursing through her veins. Lips parting, she tastes his mouth and her breath quickens with her pulse as he returns her kiss with equal passion and longing. 

Slowly, he sweeps his hands through her hair, over her shoulders, down her arms, up her back. Rey deepens the kiss and runs her fingers through his hair where it meets the nape of his neck. She unclasps his cape and it rustles to the floor, and her hands travel under his tunic over the smooth skin of his shoulder blades.

His lips and tongue brush her earlobe, and his soft breathing sends goosebumps down her arms. His hands pause momentarily as he whispers in her ear, “Stay with me here, just for tonight…. Please.”

Rey pulls away and looks him directly in the eyes, his gaze is so open, so defenseless. Is she certain this is what she wants? Then she nods her head ever so slightly, and her voice is barely audible, “Yes.”

In one fluid motion, he scoops a hand under her knees, lifts her up into his arms and carries her from the room. Adjacent to the throne room are Kylo Ren’s chambers, dimly lit and stark but for a large bed, completely blanketed in deep red. 

Gently, he sets her down on the edge of the bed and then kneels in front of her. He begins to untie the laces on the sides of her soft leather boots and then pulls them off. Sitting beside her, he unbuckles his own boots and removes them. Then he sits back up and looks at her, seemingly unsure of what to do next. 

Rey rises and stands before him, resting her hands on his shoulders, gracefully straddling his legs and settling into his lap. As he circles his arms around her and pulls her closer, she notices that his whole body is trembling. She lifts a hand to his face and realizes that she is trembling too.

She has every reason to be afraid, and so does he. They have been mortal enemies since the moment they met, and her body remembers every time he tried to kill her. Half of her instincts scream at her to run, this man is extremely dangerous, but the other part of her knows that for now, at least, she is safe in his arms.

Her fingers trace the scar that runs from high on his forehead, all the way down his throat and to his chest… The scar she gave him. Ritualistically, she presses her lips to his brow, his eyelid, cheek, jaw, throat, and just under his collarbone. 

He looks at her for a moment, then tucks back a stray lock of her hair, revealing the half-healed cut on her cheek from their duel on Ishtar. Solemnly, he kisses the corner of her mouth, just below the wound he gave her. 

She turns her head slightly to catch his lips, and suddenly the air pressure seems to drop in the room. The ever-present humming of Kylo’s ship disappears, and the world goes silent around them. Rey knows this feeling well. Startled, she pulls back and stares wide-eyed at Kylo, who appears just as shocked as she feels. She had never imagined that their Force bond would activate when they were physically in the same space. 

Somehow, their mindbridge seems to intensify every touch and emotion. Overcome, Rey finds that she can’t even begin to summon the mental capacity to ponder over why their Force bond had suddenly kicked in. 

Rey reaches for Kylo’s face at the exact moment that he reaches for hers. Filled with passion beyond anything she had ever imagined, she pours her feelings into the bond as they kiss, and feels his own ardor flowing back to her. She throws back her head as he kisses along her throat, moaning with ecstasy, and feeling his delight through the bond at each little sound. 

Without rushing, he unclasps her belt and lets it slip to the floor, and she responds by unzipping his long black doublet and pushing it back over his shoulders. She pauses only briefly to admire the strength of his arms and shoulders before lifting his tunic up over his head. Her breath catches momentarily as she runs her hands down his muscular chest, marveling at how firm and smooth and warm his skin feels.

Inside their Force bond, Rey and Kylo Ren are outside time and space, disconnected from the rest of the world. They are the only two people in their universe, and Rey allows herself to forget everything else and give herself over completely to the unparalleled bliss of her skin against his skin.

…….

It takes every bit of self-control Kylo Ren can muster not to just tear off Rey’s clothes and plunge himself into her. Instead, he slowly, almost methodically reaches for the hem of her dress and Rey raises her arms so he can pull it off. He inhales deeply at the sight of her in only her undergarments, restraining himself from going too quickly, wanting to take his time and savor every moment they have together.

His hands travel down the sides of her body, past the swell of her breasts, along the soft warm skin of her waist and over her hips. He courses over her long, powerful legs and cups the soft curve of her ass and pulls her in even closer. The heat of his arousal meets the heat of hers, and he groans as her name escapes his lips, “Rey…” he murmurs in adoration. 

At the sound of him moaning her name, Kylo feels a pulse through the Force bond as Rey seems to ignite. She grips the bottom of her breast band and pulls it over her head. For all his efforts, Kylo immediately finds himself unable to hold back any longer.

She arches back against his hand at the small of her back, offering herself to him, and he wants to devour her. Before he can slow himself down, his mouth is kissing, sucking, licking, tongue swirling delightfully, while his free hand caresses her other breast. The way her nipples stiffen and flush at his slightest touch brings him an excitement beyond anything he has ever experienced. 

He hardly notices Rey’s hands combing luxuriously through his hair and her nails grazing up his back. Then one of her hands slips down, to where his throbbing erection strains against his pants. Her fingers trace the outline of him through the black leather, exploring, teasing. It’s too much and not enough.

Just when he’s starting to think he can’t stand any more teasing, she begins to undo his buttons. She gives him one more hot and hungry kiss before she slides off his lap, gripping the waistline of his pants and pulling them down. 

His cock springs free, hard and thick with lust. He scoots backward, further onto the bed and Rey follows. Her hands glide over him, stroking, massaging, and he moans in rapture as he feels her excitement through the bond. Then she takes him in her mouth, and it is all he can do to hold onto himself.

Her tongue caresses up the length of his shaft and swirls obscenely around the head of his cock, and he feels every tiny vibration of her moans through her sucking lips. It’s more than he can handle. 

Gently, he takes her by the shoulders and pulls her up to give her a grateful kiss before rolling her over on her back. The way her body submits to his commands, giving over to him, makes him want her even more urgently.

He runs a hand up the inside of her thigh and feels her legs part as his fingers brush over her underwear. Heat emanates from between her legs as he slips a finger under the fabric. Her body rises. She is unbelievably wet, and silky smooth.

Kylo pulls her underwear down over her feet and this time, he allows himself to stare. Rey lies naked and writhing on his bed, all slim muscle and sleek curves, eyes filled with passion, and beautiful beyond dreams.

He kisses between her breasts, then just above her navel, and then lower…. 

……….

Rey’s world is spinning as Kylo Ren explores her cunt with his tongue. Each languid swirl around her clit sends spasms all the way down to her toes. His fingers push inside her, moving in and out, and she cries out his name in ecstasy. She needs him so badly she can barely breathe.

He lifts his head and rises to kiss her, his lips bittersweet with her musk as he positions his body over hers. This is it. Her mouth opens and she holds her breath as he enters her. 

The pain only lasts a moment, and then quickly evolves into pleasure beyond anything she has ever known. He fills her completely, in every way, as though every missing piece of her had been found and she is now whole for the first time in her life. 

Kylo Ren gazes at Rey in wonder, as though seeing her for the time. The ever-present torment lifts from his eyes and is replaced with pure adoration. He holds her gaze as he begins to thrust, slowly, deeply. 

Their bodies become slick with sweat, moving rhythmically together, completely attuned to each other through the bond. All thoughts are lost among the throes of passion, and only their senses are wildly alive.

Rey kisses along Kylo’s neck and shoulders, tasting the salt of his sweat. Inhaling deeply, she can’t get enough of his scent, sweet and masculine at the same time and completely divine. She exhales, and an ecstatic moan pours from her throat. Impulsively, she pushes against him and rolls her hips, and suddenly she is on top. 

For a moment, his face is colored with surprise, which then quickly turns to exaltation as she begins to grind against him, intuitively undulating her hips to take him even deeper inside her. Worshiping her with his hands and his eyes, he palms her breasts as she quickens her pace. 

Rey is only half aware that her frenzied cries are turning into wanton screams as she comes closer and closer. Almost there, she meets Kylo’s eyes, which are transfixed on her and glorifying in every moment. His reverent expression sends her over the edge, and Rey throws back her head as her climax bursts through. She has had plenty of orgasms in her life, but this… this is a religious experience. 

Each convulsion wracks Rey’s body with unfathomable bliss, her cunt pulsing and tightening around his cock in cadence with each rapturous cry. Kylo’s brows knit and his mouth opens wide and Rey realizes that he is coming with her, groaning with each throbbing pump as he empties himself inside her. She rides his cock, slowly and methodically, coaxing each aftershock until he is completely spent. 

She collapses onto him, wanting to be as close as she can be, wanting him inside her for as long as possible. With her bare chest on his, she can feel his heart pounding in time with hers, his breathing slowing with hers. 

Through the bond, Rey suddenly feels something new. Perhaps it had been there all along, and she had never opened herself to it, but now the emotion is unmistakable. Kylo Ren loves her, purely and truly. He loves her for her Light, and in that moment, Rey realizes that she loves him back, not in spite of his Darkness, but because of it.


	4. The Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after...

Rey awakens encircled in Kylo Ren’s arms, his body curled protectively around hers. She no longer feels the connection to him through the bond – it must have broken when they fell asleep. His breath tickles the back of her neck and his naked body is warm against hers. 

She studies his hand, large and strong, and yet at the same time beautiful and soft from the leather gloves he always wears. Rey brushes his fingertips with hers, recalling that moment on Ahch-To when they first touched hands through their Force bond. His vulnerability had been so real, so disarming. 

There is a shift in Kylo’s breathing and Rey realizes that he is awake. He moves in closer, nuzzling his face against the nape of her neck. His hand flows over the side of her body, goosebumps rise with his touch and Rey feels her nipples perking in response. His palms glance over her hips, linger at her waist, then glide up to her breasts. The ache of desire between her legs intensifies with every touch.

Kylo kisses the side of Rey’s neck and slides a hand between her thighs. She moans and arches her back, pressing her ass against his hard cock. He spirals his fingers luxuriously around her rosy clit as he teases and nips her earlobe. She bends her back even further, letting him slip between her legs so the smooth head of his cock rubs against her soaking cunt. He slides back and forth, wetting his dick with her arousal as his breathing grows heavy with want.

When he reaches up to pinch her nipple, she slips a hand between her own legs and holds the head of his cock against her clit, winding her hips in tiny circles until he practically growls with need. Tilting her hips back, she guides him inside her, and a long guttural moan is released from his throat. 

In deep space, there is no morning, only eternal dark night, and Rey has the fleeting thought, "If only this night could last forever..." 

Then Kylo Ren begins to thrust and Rey’s wishful thoughts are overpowered by each staggering sensation.

…….

 

Delirium threatens to overwhelm Kylo Ren. He tries to control his breathing as he fucks Rey from behind, but she is so wet and so tight that it is all he can do to keep a measured pace. She reaches one arm behind her body to grasp his clenched ass, and with her other hand she fingers her clit. 

He buries his face in her fragrant hair and moans her name over and over. Her breath quickens into gasps as she rubs her clit with increasing urgency, her cries accelerate as he thrusts deeper and deeper.

Grabbing a fistful of his hair, she twists her lithe body around just enough for her mouth to find his. Between desirous open-mouthed kisses, she nibbles and sucks on his lower lip while her grips her breast, squeezing, kneading, and pumping into her faster. He feels the walls of her cunt contract around him and knows she must be close.

He feels the moment her thighs tighten, her mouth opens wide as she cries out in deviant abandonment. Each delicious sound that issues from her throat is the most beautiful thing he has ever heard.

Once her climax has subsided, Kylo Ren grips her hips, keeping himself inside her as he rises to his knees. Each new angle brings a whole new set of stimuli, and as she rises to her hands and knees, he marvels at her flawless backside and sculpted shoulders. He entwines his fingers in her hair, pulling her head back toward him as she curves her flexible back so he can fuck into her even deeper than before. 

Slamming into her brings him an almost unbearable bliss, and he knows he won’t last long. Kylo hears himself grunt animalistically as his seed explodes out of him, pouring hotly into her with each slow pump. 

When he is completely finished, he withdraws, pulling her down next to him and still panting with exertion. She turns to face him, winding her arms around him and entangling her legs with his. 

As his thoughts gradually return to him, Kylo finds himself desperately trying to think of a way to keep her here with him forever. A raving fear lurks on the edges of his consciousness, and she is his only chance at sanity. 

…..

 

Rey closes her eyes and tries to memorize this moment. The warmth of Kylo’s skin and the scent of his spiced soap. The twisted silken red sheets that hide the stain of her virgin blood. The rise and fall of his chest and the sound of his peaceful breathing. The unshakeable feeling that in spite of everything, this is right. This is what destiny wants.

She opens her eyes to find Kylo watching her. His expression is unreadable, but his eyes are wild with thoughts. He opens his mouth and then closes it again, swallowing his words. Reaching a hand to her face, he brushes back a stray lock of hair and then lets his hand linger on her cheek, thumb moving slightly. Soon, Rey will have to be leaving, but it’s obvious that he wants to say something, so she waits.

Finally, Kylo says softly, “You don’t have to go. You could stay here.” 

Rey doesn’t say anything, but the look of impossibility in her eyes must give away her thoughts, because Kylo continues, picking up speed as he talks. “Or… we could leave, we could go somewhere where nobody will find us… I know of places on the Outer Rim where we could live, beautiful places. Forget about the First Order, and the Resistance, just leave it all behind… A clean slate.”

Reys stares at him. Here is the Supreme Leader, the most powerful man in the entire galaxy, and he wants to walk away from it all. For her. This could be how she saves him. She looks in his unblinking eyes, his expression is so open, so hopeful, and so desperately afraid. Would he ever truly be able to overcome his fear, his rage? Rey has to believe it’s possible.

Without Kylo Ren, the First Order would be left in General Hux’s cruel but incompetent hands. More worrisome, though, are the Knights of Ren. In Kylo’s absence, surely another Dark Side Force user would quickly rise to power. The young padawans that Rey has been training are showing great potential, but they not yet prepared to face such powerful opponents. 

Rey shakes her head. Even with Kylo Ren out of the picture, she knows that without her Jedi powers, the Resistance would crumble. Her friends are relying on her for the upcoming strike on Mustafar, and the Resistance needs her. 

Tears fall from her eyes, leaving dark spots on the red pillows, and Rey feels her heart tearing in two. How can she explain that she would go with him if she could, but she can’t just abandon her friends?

She whispers weakly, “I wish I could, but I can’t… I can’t.” Real physical pain blooms deep in her chest.

In an instant, Kylo’s expression darkens and eyes become a gathering storm of hurt, betrayal, and anger. He turns away from her and stares blankly at the ceiling. Suddenly, Rey feels like she might no longer be safe with him. It is time to leave, and quickly. 

Rey crawls out of his bed and begins to gather up her clothing. As she buckles her belt around her dress, Kylo stands and pulls on his trousers, then he sits back down on the edge of the bed and buries his face in his hands. Rey laces up her boots and gives Kylo one last look before heading to the door. She stands still, waiting for him to look up at her, to say something, but he doesn’t. 

Choking back tears, she approaches the door. She holds out a hand and narrows her focus as she taps into the Force, and the locked door slides open. Just as she is about to pass through, the door slams closed.

Rey whirls around to find Kylo standing, arm outstretched, eyes intense. He moves toward her so violently that her hand instinctively flies to her hip before she remembers that she came here without her lightsaber. 

Before she can even react, he is cradling her face in both hands, his mouth on hers, desperate and despairing. She returns the kiss in kind, tasting her tears between gasping sobs. 

He pulls Rey in close, hunching over to bury his face in her hair and holding her so tightly she can barely breathe, but she doesn’t mind. After several long minutes, he releases her and steps back. Looking her directly in the eyes, he raises a hand and the door slides open once again. 

Since the day she first encountered Kylo Ren, his gaze has always seemed to have some kind of magnetic power over her, like a black hole, whose inescapable gravity will inevitably draw her in.

It’s the most difficult thing she has ever done, but Rey manages to pull her eyes away, turn her back to Kylo, and walk out the door. She doesn’t look back, she doesn’t slow her pace, and she’s not sure she even draws a single breath until she is back on her ship, speeding through hyperspace.


End file.
